How convenient that my last post started off about dreams. This one begins along the same lines.
We all have dreams, things we hope for and goals we’d love to accomplish but when you bring it back to reality, sometimes dreams are just dreams.
In the last few months, perhaps maybe five or six months, I’ve spent a considerable amount of time calculating mortgages and finances over and over trying to understand how to budget our life for the future. I can’t explain to anybody why I would need to recalculate the same numbers again and again for months but I suppose I had hopes and dreams that purchasing our first home would be sooner than later. I’m known to be a saver, so I would have to say a large part of this process has to do with wanting to make my wife’s dream a reality by granting her wish of being a home owner. That’s important right?
I have had moments during the last few months when I had told her that we kinda could afford a detached home, then later a semi-detached but when I returned home to my calculator, there were lots of questions about the future with answers I didn’t like repeating to myself. It also didn’t help that people and friends we know were going out purchasing their first home, and it made it more difficult for my wife to accept that it wasn’t the best time for us to do the same. I stood my ground even though I hated to be the one holding us back.
I admit that we could have prayed more during this time but my analytical thinking mind got the best of me. I just needed the answers I was looking for and in hindsight, I had the answer all along – I just didn’t want to accept them.
As it stands now, our dream will remain a dream and we will settle for the better path, perhaps the path God prefers us to take even to our dislike. Having said that, we are happy or pursuing it together with this decision and hope God delights in our choice.
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- May 23, 2010 – 10:38 am
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- By dredlelay
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I’m deeply disturbed and sadden by the unexpected and unthinkable accident of the Georgian Olympian. When I saw it on the news in the late afternoon prior to the opening ceremonies, I became heartbroken and confused that something like this happened at all.
We all have dreams we dream about, and only a few of the many of us have the courage and bravery to take the steps necessary to make our dream(s) become a reality. Courage and bravery are just the initial steps to making dreams come true. It takes more than talent and skill to reach a personal goal; it takes personal conviction and a dedicated heart in addition to the courage within to be the best and make wishful wishes a reality.
As I stared at a photo of him online, I pictured a young adult who was mentally prepared and confident in himself to finish a trial run. A heart full of confidence knowing he’s made it to the biggest stage as a world-class athlete.
I can’t believe from the moment that picture was taken of him to the series of photos thereafter, his dream along with the support and well-wishes of his supporting cast of family and friends, his dream and life ended within minutes.
In the last seven years, it’s been my belief that life is full of surprises and that it’s in my best interest to achieve a life with the least amount of regrets. It’s important to make sure the people I love are part of my daily dreams, appreciating and loving them unconditionally even when there’s distance at any given moment. To rectify any type of distance created between someone and myself, the sooner the better. To live life happily.
It’s truly a dream worth chasing.
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- February 13, 2010 – 2:43 am
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- By dredlelay
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It’s ironic that it takes a lifetime to truly know someone. Most times you’ll never know someone to the fullest even when two people live together. Relationships and friendships are difficult to come by which can partially explain why two people would unite in marriage. It’s fascinating to me that it takes an infinite amount of time to get to know someone and when the person is gone, it still feels like life’s too short especially when it’s unexpected.
I’ve experienced this feeling before, a relationship I honoured was taking away and I couldn’t understand why. It’s a feeling that will most likely never go away even if I believe in my mind that I am healed. I think there’s an irony between relationships and death: it takes so much time, effort and sometimes love to truly know a person, but it takes an instance of death to make an individual feel an enormous part of their life is broken – that’s how I see it.
This has to be the most difficult part of being human, to begin a new chapter in life without someone they loved dearly.
As were on our way out of the funeral home, I saw Laura. I don’t know her well but I saw her every Monday. She’s the sweetest 7 yr-old girl that I know today. My heart broke down when I saw her viewing the pictures of her mother on the LCD TV. I couldn’t help but to feel much sadness as I remembered my past life. I approached her and gave her a tap hoping to utter a few words of encouragement – to be strong, but I couldn’t do it. It just didn’t seem fair and not my place. However I did say something but I can’t remember what. Then we said our goodbyes and hoped that we’d see her soon.
Her mother was the sweetest lady ever; she had a strong personality but was very loving and caring of those around her. One of my fondest memories of her is whenever I forgot my MDI (which happened on many occasions), she would offer her daughters’ to me.
I find this picture fitting as I took this at their house. I took this then reminding me of when I needed a reminder to keep my faith in the Lord.
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.
~ Proverbs 3: 5-6
God bless their family.
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- January 23, 2010 – 5:23 pm
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- By dredlelay
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There is an quiet [something, like a disturbance] that lives amongst us and tonight it’s dawned on me that maybe our culture is impatient, really impatient that we act and react before thinking – even though our morals or values tell us to be patient. I’m not the most patient husband but on a wider scale (ie. life), I consider myself to be pretty patient.
I have been keeping myself semi-informed about the top news stories in the last month: on the flu that’s been a hyped up story worldwide, checking up on forums for the latest Christmas deals, checking in on the real estate market and whatever else that has interest me. Things are happening, but I’m not budging.
After hearing my dad’s opinion about the real estate market, it dawned on me a couple hours later that patience is a lost virtue. Patience is considered a good thing but when I think about the people I know, I can’t say that any of us are patient enough to hold back on almost anything or hold out long enough, especially when it comes to money and obtaining things.
My wife sometimes played devil’s adovcate (prior to our marriage) and asked why I saved each penny for. I think the saying “work hard, play hard” is somewhere along her train of thought when it comes to finances and life, and I can’t agree more understanding that life is not all about working hard. However I knew somewhere along this path chosen of being stubborn (or stringent) with my money, behind it all was a reason and I processed my thoughts this past weekend and was englightened.
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- December 4, 2009 – 3:10 am
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- By dredlelay
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Wrist shots, slap shots, skating, crossovers, skating backwards, applying the brakes a little, I’m able to do all these things leisurely when I’m practicing on my own. Using these skills in a game situation is very different, and I also find it difficult. When I practice, I have time to think what I want to do; in a game, it’s all about reaction. In practice, I don’t avoid obstacles and do much puck handling, forcing myself to make a move or cover the puck, and never have a teammate to pass to when I practice on my own. Those skills are hard to develop without practicing with your teammates.
It’s easy to do certain things well when in training, but when provided the opportunity to show your strengths to in real situations, it really is a different game. Along with that, I find it difficult to stay consistent.
Trusting my God everyday is a challenge in itself. My faith is or feels stronger when times are tough since I have experience to lean on. However it’s hard to follow Christ when life becomes a walk in the park, when there’s nothing challenging happening. Life sometimes is too good, why would I give that up for challenging times?
Every year as I grow order, I understand the truth/deeper meaning behind the advices my parents shared with me all my life. Surely and slowly, I know God’s Word will be clearer as I grow wiser. Life shouldn’t be taken for granted.
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- November 19, 2009 – 4:06 pm
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- By dredlelay
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What’s exciting about marriage are the challenges of living together while trying to live in harmony. Prior to getting married, I had a hunch that things will be good despite our differences and how we operate in our living space. We’ve benefited from working towards a common goal and communicating with each other about our opinions before we got married.
There were many times I became frustrated with her opinions, however those frustrations existed 3-4 years ago. We still have those opinions but we understand each other now not to be as frustrated.
We’ve been meeting up with a couple (from TMH) going through sessions to get us tracking on the right direction. We have been benefiting from it so far and our mentors are a very enthusiastic couple whom have approximately six years of experience for us to learn from. Just to hear what they have to share is comforting to me; it’s knowing that every couple have their own set of issues or struggles to deal with – more or less the same.
I think we had probably figured out a number of things on our own when we were living together on and off for a couple years before marriage.
Thus far, marriage has been awesome! I carry with me a reflective mind and heart, so I’m always learning to become a better husband. I think the hardest thing for me right now is remembering that we share responsibilities and duties rather than doing my own things. We each have our individual strengths and skills when it comes to maintaining our living space but I’m a firm believer that tasks should be shared (or at least knowledge transferred). I’m working on investing my time and effort to learn how she does certain things, so her burden is less.
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- October 13, 2009 – 5:46 pm
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- By dredlelay
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I’m only assuming here but I’m guessing that most people are afraid, shy or uncomfortable to chat about relationships. Females may not have this difficulty and if they do, they are probably more comfortable to share with closer friends than males are.
If I may generalize from my observation, I think most people are just uncomfortable with sharing about their relationship, talking about friendship struggles and sexuality. There’s always a tension within each of us because of consideration of others and saving ourselves from embarrassment. Understandably we should be considerate of those who aren’t currently in one or are hurt from past relationships, but we shouldn’t be embarrassed talking about relationship, marriage struggles or asking questions.
If you’re a Christian, then you know it’s all about your relationship with God, with family and with brothers and sisters within the same belief system and most importantly extending your love to beyond. Most will agree that we all struggle with our faith regardless of experience and there’s nothing to be ashamed or embarrassed about. When it comes to friendship and relationship, we’re more reluctant to share – at least most of us, especially guys.
Divorce statistics is really a sad thing to calculate but facts are facts and when I look at the numbers, there’s little to hold me back from saying that we don’t do enough to encourage married couples to find a support system whether it’s professional help, an organization dedicated to helping married couples or having close friends as support. Why do we refuse to get help or share problems with each other? I’ve heard it said many times that two people involved in conflict have the worst view of the big picture.
What’s worse is when those two same people in conflict don’t know how to resolve their issues and share the same home with their children. It could be an endless cycle until someone figures out how to seek help. The Bible is a great tool to help solve some battles but not all, at least not for perfect people.
God created relationships to be priority over all and He observes many of us in our daily interactions with one another. I feel bad for Him to see many who fail to complete their marriage vows. It’s a scary thought that at one point in your life, you feel there’s an everlasting abundance of joy until you can’t fix your issues with your wife (or significant other).
Could be time to put the guard down and seek help.
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- August 23, 2009 – 1:18 am
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- By dredlelay
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I know someone who crawled out from depression utilizing strength and willpower. When I think back, sometimes I wonder how it all began and why he was committed to find healing. I witnessed God’s presence as he struggled through it which leaves me to question, why did he go through all that trauma as a result from losing someone important and then found a will for healing… what’s the point?
Why do we pursue greatness? Sometimes to become great, you need to sacrifice the things you love. In the midst of pursuing greatness, there are times when we cause ourselves to stumble. When we stumble, we tend to think twice about continuing our goal — and I’m convince most times we fail to continue. However in his particular case, I wonder why he kept going even through his struggles. Logically it makes sense that he continued, but thinking and planning about it is different than executing it.
I suppose there’s nothing wrong with becoming great as long we’re persistent on receiving greatness from God. I guess to answer my question is that he had faith, whatever it may have been. Faith is such a powerful thing, yet I have a hard time grasping the essence of it.
- Published:
- July 13, 2009 – 2:21 pm
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- By dredlelay
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